For Transmen

Cruising for Transguys

Tips and things to think about when you're on the prowl.

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Cruising can be a great way to hook up for casual sex. Still, every time you cruise, you face a variety of outcomes: the chance of a good time, great sex, bad sex, and everything in between. Cruising is a learned skill whether you are trans or not. Talk to some friends and ask them about their tips and cautions. Everyone tends to have a great story about learning the ropes that you can learn from.

Cruising also comes with the possibility of rejection. Fear of rejection can lead some guys to take sexual risks when they worry that the guy they are with will reject them if they insist on safer sex. Thinking in advance about how you will cope with rejection may help you to avoid situations where you feel pressured to compromise your safety for a chance at sex or intimacy.

Decide ahead of time if you are going to disclose that you are trans. Be prepared if you are outed by someone. If you disclose, be prepared to answer questions about your gender and your body. For some people this can be an opportunity to let people know what you want sexually and what your expectations are for the encounter.

Bars and nightclubs are common places for cruising. Some gay clubs are transfriendly and others are not. If you can, talk to other transmen about their experiences at different bars or try to find the information online.

A lot of bathhouses have either formal or informal policies that ban or welcome transmen. A formal policy usually means "men only" and that sometimes excludes people who don’t have flesh cocks. This can be a problem for transmen who haven’t had genital surgery and who don’t have legal identification with proper gender designation. Informal policies are more about the attitudes to or treatment of transmen in the bathhouse and the way that certain bodies/body parts may not be welcome.

You can be partially clothed in most bathhouses, and some non-trans guys do that too. If you have chest surgery scars and feel self-conscious about them, chest harnesses or leather vests are acceptable attire in many bathhouses, bars and clubs.

From www.queertransmen.org